Ode to a guy with ILS (Imaginary Lat Syndrome)

I see you as I walk toward the stairs to the RB.
You look like you're 15, and roughly 4 ft 3.

Is it short man's complex to which you've been diagnosed?
It very well might be, but it's not what I notice most.

It's your arms, oh your arms...how they hang there so awkward
away from your sides as if you've about to jump skyward.

Why is it, I ask, that you hold yourself mid funky chicken dance?
Why is it you stand in this most akward stance?

It's my muscles you cry!
My latissimus dorsi!
There's so swollen and huge!
roughly the size of Baton Rouge!

I take a second and look to see what you mean
but I see nothing unordinary, nothing obscene.

"Are you sure that's what's wrong?"
"Oh yes, I'm quite strong."

My fears now confirmed I have to profess
It's my humble opinion, this boy has ILS.